50 cent dating joan rivers
Their heads look like pumpkins sitting on washing machines. Today was the anniversary of two of the biggest events in American history: Nancy Kerrigan getting clubbed in the knee in 1994, and Congress giving the 2000 election to George W. My world was changed on that fateful day, and since then I’ve never been able to watch figure skating the same way.I don’t say this in a judgmental, pejorative way; I say it in a capitalistic way, because frankly, I have a jewelry line, and if they have no necks that means they can’t buy necklaces and that means that my beloved Cooper might have to go to some cheap community college, or worse, join the Peace Corps and work for free—for free! Up until then I always thought of figure skating as something gay men who were tone-deaf and couldn’t sing in piano bars did to pass their time, but it turns out I was wrong.Miss Rivers does, however, believe that anyone who takes anything in this book seriously is an idiot.And she says if anyone has a problem with that they can feel free to call her lawyer, Clarence Darrow. You try downing a bottle of Barbies with a dry throat. I wouldn’t even have minded if it was spelled with a K.I think if the ship’s captain had let the slaves switch sides every couple of days not only would they have rowed faster but they would have had the strength to make faces at Anthony Hopkins. Anyhow, I did what any American would do: sent a check to Wounded Warriors, hung up on the motherfucker, and switched to Verizon.This morning when I woke up and looked out my window, there was Conchita, out in the field threshing wheat so that her “brother,” Juan, would be able to make me toast for my morning breakfast. JANUARY 4Dear Diary: Something about Anne Frank’s story kept bothering me and I finally figured out what.As such, some of the events may not be 100 percent . While Miss Rivers doesn’t really like skinny models and actresses, she doesn’t actually believe that they’re all bulimics and they all carry buckets instead of purses.Similarly, she doesn’t really think that all Germans are anti-Semitic Nazi sympathizers, that all Mexican Americans tunneled in across the border, that all celebrities are drug addicts, shoplifters or closet cases, or that Noah built his ark with non-union labor.
We all giggled that girls are better than guys, and then we douched with Gatorade and wrist-wrestled till we fell asleep. You can do a lot with blackout curtains if you’re willing to strain your brain a little and think outside the box.…isn’t worth having a goddamn Twitter meltdown over.Tony Alpsen writes and at least attempts to draw a comic strip called Ying & Yan over at tapastic.com/series/yingandyan and Comedienne, Emmy Awardwinning TV host, Tony-nominated actress and CEO, Joan Rivers is an icon of American culture.She is a bestselling author, Celebrity Apprentice winner, writer, producer, director, and savvy businesswoman who has overcome great odds to reinvent herself time and time again. Network’s popular series Fashion Police, and stars with her daughter, Melissa, in their own weekly reality show, Joan and Melissa: Joan Knows Best? Her critically acclaimed documentary, Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work premiered in theaters nationwide and is available on DVD. Amongst all of her success, Joan’s most joyous triumph is being a mother and grandmother.
I wasn’t planning on keeping a journal this time, but when I told my friend Bambi I was going to Mexico for the new year, she said, “Oh, you ought to keep a diary, like whatshername did . Hopefully the answer will come to me before Passover.